Health log, maiki

@susanmagnolia picked up my prescription, so I will begin it today. :weary: :grimacing: :crossed_fingers:

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The strangest part of starting antibiotics is feeling it activate in one’s body.

I now recall, this prescription makes me feel bodily tired. Like, not my mind, I just start to feel sluggish. It uses a lot of energy.

Medical provider called to let me know someone else will call to schedule a follow-up with my doctor, who has an opening in July.

So there’s that. They also said I could go to their urgent care to get tests run, which is a very different scenario than a few months ago, where I waited 4 hours to pee in a cup at a lab they sent me to… which is a good sign, I hope. Grand re-opening and all that.

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Feeling less sore and inflamed, but the antibiotics sap my physical energy. Swings and roundabouts.

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Yesterday I was taken out the whole day. Just a tightness around my testicle and my core clinching up and being short of breath. It was rough, and if I didn’t improve today I was going to go to urgent care. But I did improve, I actually feel well. And that’s terrifying, because it is very hard to plan for the future when I don’t know when I’ll have an “off day”.

I need to switch medical providers, one more task on the stack…

Yesterday I felt well in the morning, but after a short walk near Lake Merritt I felt my energy leave and my core muscles ached and I felt the stinging pain. Not sure what to do, I resolved to go to Urgent Care as suggested.

About 2 hours ago I was denied medical care at the Urgent Care they referred me to. When asked why I was there, I explained, “I have an ongoing condition that is causing me a lot of pain, it is getting too difficult to walk or even stand sometimes, my muscles are having spasms from the pain and I have to catch my breath a lot.”

And they asked, “So you have shortness of breath?” To which I replied, “Sure, yeah, if I just stand up I kinda gasp.”

To which they informed me “shortness of breath” was a symptom which prohibited me from being received. I explained I didn’t have any flu symptoms, it was from pain, and they said they would go to the clinic (the check in is in a different place) and ask if they would see me.

They walked back and ten minutes later said they would not see me due to “shortness of breath”. I pleaded with them, that it was a miscommunication, I did not claim to how shortness of breath, I was in pain and needed to see someone, and asked if they would go to the clinic and explain my actual symptoms. And they said, “No, I’m not walking back there again.”

I’m too sick to be as angry as I think this makes me. It’s too much energy to put forth.

I’ve switched medical providers, and have new urgent care facilities to go to. I also have created a formal complaint with my medical insurer. Right now I just want to take a nap.


I use “contexts” to structure my tasks (Learning Taskwarrior, one dream at a time - #35 by maiki - Science and Technology - talkgroup), and I’m adding health related tasks to my “work” context. Because healing is part of my job.

Today I’m going through the medical portal from my former clinic and ensuring I have all the data present, as well as seeing about exporting/transferring to new provider. This is one of the reasons I’m keeping this log, so I have timestamps and someone is paying attention to the events happening to me…

As for health, I think the antibiotics are working on the infection, but I also think something an RN once told me: my epididymis has stretching trauma, and I need to support it close to my body and not move, as when I do it causes pain which is clenching up my muscles from just below my ribs down to my knee (on the inside of my leg).

Last night I meditated and massaged strained muscles, and also experimented with sleeping positions, all of which I believe jostle my epididymis and cause trauma while I’m sleeping… so I laid on my back and my legs pressed closed, and put a weighted blanket over me to hold me in place.

I woke up with less sore muscles, and so far I’ve been walking slow, actually kinda limping as I feel what’s happening and compensate. To be honestly this is a lot easier at home, where I can just hold myself, but walking outside in public may not be in my immediate future…

i i y i

If I remember the characters and order, I can figure out the spelling. And this one is easy! The first half is the sound I make when I stand up, and the second half is the immediate question after the first part…

Took yesterday easy, taking today easy, feel lingering soreness but not an increase in pain.

Basically yesterday I just sat in one place all day, on the laptop and phone. And that worked, if very boring and at times pointless. But that is healing for ya… :grimacing:

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Had a rough night sleeping from being in the same position all day and then all night, but physically I have very little discomfort this morning. Two more days of antibiotics and then a whole lot of sitting and healing until I can walk without risk of further trauma…

Took last antibiotics last night. I’m going to continue to take it easy, minimal movement/walking, for a while longer. I can’t say, but I know I have to do it well past when I’m feeling without pain, because I have very little control over what is happening, so I can at least control how I’m using my body.

I don’t want to do this for another round, I want to heal and be done with this. :grimacing:

Feeling not too bad today. Just the barest sense of soreness. And I’m not moving today! That means no neighborhood strolls, not even pacing the room… such activities are too much, until I’ve no soreness left, and then some, to ensure I am fully healed.

Feeling pretty good these days, though still an ever bit of soreness. As a reminder: stay put, don’t move too much, just heal up.

This morning the manager of the urgent care facility that turned me away called; our call was disconnected several times, but not before I was able to share my email address. They would like to resolve this, so I will give them an account of what happened directly. I suppose I could just point them to:

Been doing okay. Still avoiding physical exertion. Including operating the tortilla press. Inter-resting how certain activities apply pressure on particular regions of one’s body.

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Well… I’ve got more dental stuff happening. I’ll keep it brief and concise.

The tooth that was extracted, I believe it had to be in part because of a wisdom tooth coming in behind it. That wisdom tooth is now… coming in. Ugh. And it’s a strange angle and all, but also… behind where I have an empty space, so this whole thing is just really weird for me, in a very existential way.

And it is all happening so very close to my brain. Ugh.

And that’s it. I’m not in pain, just someone teething in their 40s. And not entirely sure how dentistry even works half the time.



Going to dentist today for checkup/cleaning. I’m anxious and don’t know why, but that’s how it is.

Rationally, nothing bad is gonna happen, and yet my brain keeps holding onto this… fear. As in, I’m stating this plainly: I’m tired of this, I simply have no useful reason for “fearing” anything related to this. What I do have to look forward to is a long, healthy life with my family.

So what’s up with that? :weary:

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I have a plan for moving forward with dental work, of which there is a lot, but somehow relatively manageable. The first order is a partial deep cleaning, at which point they will also perform an extraction of a tooth that is mostly gone (my crown broke or something many years ago).

I can’t say I’m thrilled by the journey ahead of me, but at least there will be nitrous… haha, ha, ha.


Oh, speaking of sobbing…

Warning: I touch on disturbing memories from my childhood, skip if you aren’t in the mood, I get it.

Hmmm, how to explain this at this juncture… okay, most of my dental visits before now have been painful affairs, pain caused by the dentists. As in, I’ve never been properly numbed until the current dentist. So there’s that. As a spatial sequence synthede, I have too much direct access to those memories. I often wonder how my brain can direct my body to step into the office, the torturous memories flood me so much.

Okay, there’s that. But also my memory of the first time I was to visit a dentist, a distant, horrible memory. And it has nothing to do with the dentist! It has to do with the financial burden it put on my single mother of three, having recently escaped a hellish marriage… even as I write this, thinking I was more raw than anything, I can feel a throbbing, stabbing pain in my chest.

I’m not turning away, but fuck this is real for me, and I’m miserable in that moment 30 years ago. And the kicker, I was about Clover’s age.

Today after breakfast I reviewed Clover’s brushing technique.



Okay, two things:

  1. Scheduling is becoming difficult: the first available spot coincides with my new patient appt at my new doctors office, so I can’t get around that, it’s potentially more important, and then the second time coincides with yet another important medical appt unrelated! But at least we are working it out over email, since I don’t have reception at home…
  2. I have a lot of reservations about nitrous oxide. Not it’s effectiveness! It’s rad. It’s that I grew up around loads of people all over America that would steal tanks of the stuff and get blitzed on it, and that strong association weighs on my mind when I think about requesting it for an operation. Even if that operation is a tooth extraction! What I mean is, it’s hard to be rational when it comes to pain. Whoo.

Okay, got a couple of dental appointments in Oct., one for deep cleaning + extraction, the next for deep cleaning (other side) + filling. And I’ve requested nitrous oxide for both. I think I have regular dental visits in my future, and I’d like them to be little lucid dreams to counter the horror stories of my memories.

I’ve got this! (And I’ve got @susanmagnolia!) :grimacing:

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Welp, the first visit was rescheduled… tomorrow.


It’s better to get it over with, I’m sure.